Caren 15 Oct 2009 To understand the dilemma Dirk faced as he stood there in the burning town scene of the Pirates attraction (turned off for the night), its important to understand the relationship between Trimobian Pirates of the Caribbean and Disney cast members. The vast majority of cast members didnt know or didnt believe that the pirates had a life of their own. The pirates liked it that way, preferring to conduct their business out of the sight of most humans. When the pirates did appear to humans outside of their ride, they were generally taken to be cast members in pirate costume, as had Longshanks when he went to the first- aid station to enquire about lost children. Dirk had no current cast members he could confide inturnover had been brutal in recent yearsleaving him with few choices. He could out the pirates to one of the regular Pirates cast members who already suspected something was going on with the pirates and ask them for help. No, unthinkable. He could simply drop the child off near the nighttime mousekemaintenance cast members and trust them to do the right thing. The child would talk of pirates, yes, but she was a toddler and toddlers were never taken seriously. Yes, he decided, that was what he was going to do. He was going to simply have someone put the child out near the night mousekemaintenance cleaning crew. But who was going to do the deed? Certainly not Dirk. He was, he told himself, in charge and above such menial work. Certainly not Bubba, who was at the moment playing with the little girl and the animatronic pigs. Maybe Longshanks. Longshanks was reasonably reliable. As Dirk was standing in the burning town, straining his animatronic brain on this problem, three new pirates turned up on the scene. Hey there, fellow pirate, good buddy, fine fellow, is there rum yet? Not yet, Jack. And that goes for you, too, Jack and Jack. Thats Captains Jack to you, the three Captain Jacks said in unison. Dirk found them to be intensely annoying. And not just because they were advanced animatronics. So why is there no rum? asked Captain Jack. We have no rum again? asked Captain Jack. Why is there never any rum? What they said, said Captain Jack. Look, theres been a delay. We ran into a little problem on the way to get the rum. Dirk explained. Oh, how he longed for the days before the three Jacks showed up in the ride. Well, thats what you get for letting one of THOSE fetch the rum. Captain Jack shrugged. What do you mean, one of those? asked Dirk, although Dirk had a suspicion he knew exactly what Captain Jack meant. You know standard-issue animatronic, jolly type, said Captain Jack. Yeah, you know theyre kind of whooo continued Captain Jack. Cant get anything right, said Captain Jack. This was too much for Dirk, Ill have you know that Bubba has been a loyal pirate here YEARS before you three misfits turned up to cause trouble. Hes been totally reliable on rum duty. Ill have you know that he didnt fetch the rum tonight because he rescued a . Rescued a what, Dirk? Yeah, did he find a kitten? Look, look over there. Oh, this is too good. Three slow, sly smiles spread across three pirate faces. To be continued.